PREFACE : Sowiee
Ok, I apologize for this being extremely long, but I've realized that this is more for me to remember where I've been rather than to make this entertaining yet brief, so sorry again, but much love!
CHAPTER ONE : Moozyq?
I met with my small group leaders after a busy, busy day of interviews / classes / and problem sets. They were worried that I was just too busy with life and not living healthily. To me, I wasn't phased at all; I've heard this talk before, I know all the dance steps. BUT! They pulled a tricky on me: they asked me how my music was and how much time I was spending on that. WOAH! I didn't realize it until they said it, but in my busyness, I had actually forgotten about music!
CHAPTER ZERO : BLAST FROM THE PAST!
Winter Retreat 07:
Shawn Bolz, the speaker of FECC's 07 winter retreat, was invited to talk about how to live for God 24/7. He, instead, focused on how to use your talents for God, specifically artistic talents. During the course of the retreat, many people prayed over me where they all saw a future me serving God's kingdom through my love for music.
CHAPTER ONE.FIVE : Addendum
You'd think that I should pursue something musically related, no? Oh, how much of an idiot I am. Anyways, my small group leaders suggested that I cut out something from my life, giving the analogy of Jesus pruning certain branches so that fruit may grow more abundantly on others. For me, this meant that by creating space and time for Music, that God would work in that area of my life, presumably (hopefully! faithfully!!!). Wow, that's a tough word to say to a EE working in the lab until 3:00 AM on this lovely Friday night. In the end, my small group leaders (aish, it's annoying to type small group leaders - their names are Mike and Tiff) challenged me to take a risk by allowing God to prune off certain branches in my life. Ouchie!
CHAPTER TWO : To love or not to love
THEN!! That same night, during the Intervarsity Large Group, AVR (Alex Van Riesen - the speaker for our IVCF) gave a talk on the whole point of man and woman. It was really good to hear about how God had created man and woman not as sexual beings, but as people who should be azers(helpers) to one another in pursuing Christ. For the sake of brevity, this is all I'm going to say for now... ;) Anyways, this was relevant to me because up to this point, I've been trying to stay away from all girls period. I mean, I DID found the Guard Your Heart Club, right? Anyways, my roommates recently asked me a series of questions wondering why I don't pursue a girlfriend now when (I do not agree with this at all) there are so many who are "throwing themselves at you, big ole isyi." *Drum roll* The principle reason that I gave was that I wanted to fill my heart with the love of Christ, that I would someday love my lover patiently, kindly, without envy, and without pride. I wanted to love unconditionally, with a love ending. Wow, what a sunday school answer ahahhaa, but it's true!
During AVR's talk, however, I thought about this more and realized that one of the main reasons why I didn't want to have a "gf" was because I was scared out of my mind. Could I really love someone forever? Could they love me? If I dated someone, would I have to marry them in order to avoid hearts breaking? When is the right time? All these questions plagued my mind during the talk, and I felt God just challenging me to take a risk (No, I'm not going to get a significant other sometime in the near future [hopefully] ). But, I ignored this strange feeling, trying to stick to my truthful-yet-not-really sunday school answer. Silly me.
CHAPTER THREE : The Branch (DUN DUN DUN)
This is where it gets good. SOO, after IV, a bunch of us wanted to play Capture the Flag in the Main Quad. After the opposing team scored an easy first flag, I volunteered to guard the flag. I was kind of sad, though, cuz I wanted to run around and try to get theirs, so during the last 5 minutes, I switched spots with someone and just went for it. I decided to be sneaky by running into a dimly lit wooded area. Yianni, a super fast runner who coincidentally is Greek, started chasing me like a cat on its mouse. I ran as fast as I could, zig zagging *dino* through trees, sidestepping him, when I ran right into a tree branch! It hurt like a mother beating a father. Anyways, after a few moments of just being dazed, I realized that something wet was dripping down my face. Yep, I had cracked my head open. You know those movies where the main character gets fatally wounded and he/she's just bleeding all over? I felt and looked like that, and in that moment, I started thinking ridiculous thoughts like, ooh, what should I say as my last words on this earth? pfftt, fat chance of me dying. The next three hours was a whirlwind of Kaiser, Blood, Anesthetics, Blood, Four staples to head, more blood, sleeeep. It was a bit ridiculous, but, Praise God, I was alive!
CHAPTER FOUR : ________?
So, here I am, just pondering about all these risks that I feel I have to confront rather soon. I mean, God practically threw a branch into my head, and if only it were pruned, I wouldn't have my Metalhead nickname now. Either way, I'm grateful to God for providing only Good things at the exact moment when I need them. Hopefully I won't be dumb enough to ignore God this time :).
Whew
Jeremiah 29:11
1 comment:
ahahaha. you're so awkward. dont blame God for throwing a branch into your head. you ran into that haha. i want to give up school for lent or something.
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