a quickie

so i'm in winter break now, and just wanted to update on my life...as everyone's been complaining aha

- i'm at my cuzz's house for the first week of winter break
- i'm trying to get into the master's program for CS at Stanford for next year (but things look pretty bleak fsho...need more prayer!)
- i've been working on an iphone app called Cash Cow! more details to follow and hopefully it'll be on the app store! (cliff, dl that fsho!)
- i'm in a relationship now, since Oct 13, 2008 (my 21st bday!). name: tiffany lin. age: 21. occupation: master's student at Stanford. hotness: off the charts.

ok, ok, i guess i should elaborate on mi novia. she's amazing! ok, i'll stop. but seriously, she's amazing! my relationship with her has been extremely redeeming in terms of seeing God move through romantic love for another person. after ck, (no, not cliff --to cliff: i love the whole initials thing too!-- ) i didn't think i would be capable of loving someone with my whole heart; God has totally blown that hulabaloo out of my head and allowed me to experience a whole new freedom :). she's also challenged me a WHOLE lot. i'll be honest, i don't feel like i can be challenged by just anybody due to my upbringing and super love for Jesus. but she does! she challenges me about journaling and reading the Word everyday, she challenges me about having enough faith when i pray, etc. it's a weird feeling to have someone you romantically like tell you how you kinda suck aha, but it's been great fsho. anyways, she probably peruses (stalks) this blog from time to time (every other hour), so i dunno if i can write too too much (jk). maybe i'll write a super secret long email to you guys about the ways that i've been actually extremely annoyed at her (again, jk).

ok, so like cliff, i'm big on initials. really big. but i can't call tiff tl because amos is also dating a tiffany lin (what are the chances?!?), and i call her tl, so if i call my tiff tl, that's just awkward. so i couldn't think of anything super cool, so i just thought of something i really really really really like: plain tart yogurt. and then badabing, badaboom: the new initials for what to call her were born!: pty! she's cool, tarty, cheap (in a good way aha), low-fat, and best of all, i can never have enough pty! ahaha. so corny, i know ;)

btdubs, let's tokbox again!

agapeworship

Hello! Sorry I haven't posted in awhile :(
Anyways, I've recently been convicted by God to start up a collection of worship songs that people can use to worship with, to have during their devotionals, or just to have as a learning tool. I'm not sure what to call it yet, but for now I'm calling it agape worship (reminiscent of ajuh's agapeisgreat blog aha). Anyways, I only have one song as of now, Psalm 36 (instrumental - I might add my singing to it aha), but I hope that you'll take a listen and be blessed!

Psalm 36 (instrumental)

Emmanuel, Tommy

Hello, hola, cham sam nee da, ni hao, jambo!


I just wanted to rave about my new favorite guitarist: Tommy Emmanuel. He's an absolute beast, and his music is phenomenal. He defines the point I've been desperately searching for in the music industry: the point where natural talent meets hours and hours of practice meets truly entertaining music.

Among his greats are Guitar Boogie, Classical Gas, and While My Guitar Gently Weeps ft. Jake Shimabukuro, but my personal favorite is...



Angelina
What a beautiful name for a beautiful song. At first, Amos and I were wondering, who could Angelina be? A childhood sweetheart? His wifey? Mamma Mia? After a little research, the mystery was revealed: he wrote the song for his youngest daughter because of the fact that he missed her and wanted to spend time with her, but couldn't because he was always on the road as a rockstar. BEAST!

클래지콰이

I was inspired by Jon to listen to their albums again.
One word: ILOVETHEIRMUSICOHSOMUCH
It's the kind that makes you dance like no one's looking.

Click the pics for oh my goodness. <3?>  $$

Shanghai Piano Bar

Those Who Trust / One Name

Amazing Grace

Catalaska

Hello!  My summer's been super-filled with a lot of God's goodness and beauty, so I wanted to share it with all of you lovely people.

Catalina

Right after school ended, I went to IV's end of the year trip at Campus by the Sea: Catalina 2008!  And it was amazing!  This year, I was part of the Prayer Seminar again, and although I partook in the mad praying for the second time (last summer I did the same thing), God showed up in a totally different way: whereas last year, it was mostly seeing God move in power through intercession that really affected me, this year, I was more struck by how God revealed so many weaknesses in my life: it's still hard for me to really, really, really believe that God loves me, and I find that I try really hard to impress people, especially those of the female nature :/.  I know, lame sauce.

I wanted to talk about one of the days in particular, the Day of Silence.  Since I was part of Prayer Seminar, one of the days during the week, we practiced a day of silence in order to be able to better listen to the voice of God.  On this day, I decided to go with Peter Kariuki, another Prayer Seminar-er, on a hike in order to pass the time / make space for God to speak.  Originally I thought it was going to be 30 min to an hour.  It took more like 3 hours.  Plus, I was wearing my shower sandals and jeans in RIDICULOUSLY hot weather.  Oh yeah, we also brought no water.  It was just ridiculous haha.  At first, I started out super excited and ready for anything; I would climb leaps and bounds and not worry about how long it would take.  After awhile, I started to mad sweat / pant.  As we continued our trek, there were so many times when I thought I couldn't make it if it wasn't for Peter literally pushing me up.  But when we finally made it, I was overwhelmed with how beautiful both God's natural world is, but also how his grace allowed me to make it to the top.  God really spoke a lot through the hike, especially about how I need to start relying more on his love and on community during my walks of faith.  I felt like my walk of faith was a lot like my walk on this hike: starting out strong, but reaching difficulty during perseverance, and finally not being able to make it without someone else's help.  

Anyways, Catalina was super duper fun though!  This year, Stanford partnered with UCLA's IV, and let me tell you, those Bruin folk are ridiculously legit haha.  I had so much fun just chilling with everyone from UCLA; from hanging out at the bonfire late at night, to interceding and praying with them, to cleaning up the camp with them, to helping them in a Catalina skit contest (we did God the Father, a Godfather remake, and we won!  See facebook) to even worshipping on the worship team with them!  Worship was amazing too; I got a chance to play the drums haha, and it was just cool learning new songs and new techniques for drumming.  Oh, and now I'm on a gospel music craze, thanks to the UCLA worship leader Mike Eubanks.  Gospel music is crazy!  It's just crazy!  I'll post a compilation of songs soon enough!

Catalina was a true beast.  I can't wait for next summer ofsho!

Alaska

This summer also marked my extended family's triannual family reunion.  This year, 75 of us Wang clan members invaded Alaska via the Carnival cruise, spreading the Chinese wonder throughout Ketchikan, Juneau, Skagway, and Sitka.  The trip was super super fun in general.  It was amazing to just spend time with my family (they're the best ofsho) but also just to see how beautiful nature is and how mighty God is for creating it.  I seriously fell in love with God again and again; how mighty is He who created the earth!  Seriously, God is a visual genius.  Just facebook me for the photos, and you'll be amazed.  Or check out the slideshow vid I made up top; it has some surprise vids inside haha.  Sorry it's long, but it's worth it, trust me.

Ketchikan

The first city we visited was Ketchikan.  It was July 4th, so everyone on the cruise and in the little town were super patriotic (imagine red and blue spandex).  The cousins all went hiking around town, taking in the sights, and just enjoying the beauty around us.  The town was pretty small, so I got to hike around the entire place in a few hours.  We were then supposed to go kayaking, but I got sick earlier and decided to stay back :/.  I heard it was a beast though, so I made it my promise to kayak at some point of the trip :0)

Juneau

Ah, Juneau.  Sandwiched in between two mountains with a river for a neighbor.  Accessible only by plane or boat.  Juneau...(insert mystical sound effects)  Juneau was a true beast!  I woke up feeling more sick than the day before, but the activities of the day soon cured my ailments: visiting Mendenhall Glacier, checking out a salmon hatchery, glacier hopping while on a float plane, eating authentic salmon at the getaway Taku Lodge while playing with bears, raiding the Del Sol store (where everything changes its color in the sunlight), and ending the day with a screening of WALL-E (which was a true beast; the symbolism, the lack of dialogue, the portrayal of love..mm so good).

Skagway

The Wangs spent the day at Skagway going on a massive roadtrip.  We drove into the heartland of the Northwest Territories, checking out Bove Island, Emerald Lake, this random Soup kitchen, and even did a little shopping.  I know there's the stereotype about Asian drivers, but I have to say, the roadtrip was one of the best ideas ever.  I loved how the weather changed dramatically, how we were surrounded by nature wherever we drove, and how the Northwest Territories had so much to offer; we were caught in a sea of fog, drenched with sunlight at the beautiful Emerald Lake, and even managed to check out a real desert, all in 4 hours.

Sitka

Sitka was our last visited city, so the cousins decided to go out on with a bang.  We went kayaking (woot!) in the Sitka Bay, weaving in between the islands, catching sight of a mini flock of bald eagles, almost getting eaten by a sea lion, and having a kayak picnic with corn dogs, cheeto puffs, and gatorade.  Mm, goood times.  I have to say Sitka was surprisingly AMAZING, with the cool Russo-influenced architecture, drizzly weather, and kayaking!  Please, good people, if you ever find yourself in Alaska, do not miss up Sitka.

Overall (<- High school english classes have brainwashed me to ALWAYS start my conclusions with overall), Alaska was one of the most beautiful and magical places I have ever visited in my entire life.  Please, stop whatever you are doing, cancel whatever thought process is going on in your head, and just go.  Now.

P.S. If anyone of you good people are considering moving to / visiting Alaska, please, let me know!

Done and Done!

I'm finally finished with Junior year!  I just turned in my last take home final.  Aish, everyone was done like 3 days ago, and I've been locking myself in the comp cluster :(  But I had some encouragement from my sister last night to help me press on.  I love you mei mei!

Here's a little note of encouragement!

HANG IN THERE, BRO!!! 12 hours and 35 or so minutes left and you're done with your 3rd year of college!!
YOU CAN DO IT! YOU WILL DO IT!! you're like the little engine that COULD..and that WILL :)
who cares if every one else is done..this is literally the LAST STRETCH..so head up and keep sprinting to the finish line!!
2 Tim 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
1 Cor 9:24 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."

Hope you've been encouraged. 
I love you so much!! Whoohoo!!

Psalm 94:19 "When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."

Run to the Father of Compassion and the God of all Comfort. 

Let Him sustain you!!

The Sex Monster

I meant to write about this for awhile now, but I was reminded of it by my own silliness tonight:

I work the late shift at the music library from 8 - 10 pm on wed nights, and tonight, as I was closing up, I saw her.  I don't know who she is, and honestly, I don't quite remember what she looks like, but my breath was taken away by her God-given physical beauty hahahahaha.  Hey, I'm just trying to be real here, and in case you all forgot, I am a male made to think that members of the female gender are attractive.  Anyways, she reminded me of the fact that I intended to write a post about sexuality even though it's awkward talking about it because of the way that I've grown up in a church which has suppressed (mostly) all talk of sexuality, but I'm going to be real about it anyways.

A few weeks ago, my church held a men's group seminar where the men of the church came together to talk about sin and sexuality, something that is unsurprisingly commonplace in a male's life.  I'm not allowed to and would prefer not to share about the details of our discussion, but there were some key points that were brought up that I think are suuper important to think and pray about.

Did you know that...

 - Over 1000 new porn web sites are created every day

 - The average age for first-time contact with internet porn is approx. 11 years of age

 - The largest consumer of internet porn is the 12 - 17 year old age group

 - 80% of married sex addicts thought marriage was the answer to their addiction

 - In 2000, it was estimated that 40 - 60% of Christian men struggled with porn

 - 40% of new cyber-sex addicts are women, who favor chat rooms twice as often as men

Whew, some scary stuff.  When I first read all of these stats, I was dumbfounded and broken inside.  Sex is something that God gave us as a gift, so how and why has it become so perverted as a power of the Devil?  Lust in sex is a super powerful weapon of the Enemy, exploited by the media, avoided by the church, and sex is now never, ever thought of as it was originally intended for.  It's also super frustrating to me why have we as a body of Christ grown so scared to address these issues, in our churches, in our communities, and even in our homes.

The counselor who led the seminar recommended a book titled "Sex is not the Problem (Lust is)" by Joshua Harris, author of the popular "I Kissed Dating Goodbye."  Anyways, as soon as I got home, I ordered it from amazon, but in my hurry, I accidentally ordered the study guide instead of the real book hahaha.  Aish, so typical me :/.  Anyways, once I get the real deal, I'll give a mini review on it :).

Anyways, the seminar really opened my eyes to the need for constant prayer against lust and sexual temptation in this world.  So, please please please lift up a daily prayer for all our brothers and sisters!  The seminar was held specifically to also help bolster a member of my church named Matt.  He was charged with possession of explicit materials and was recommended to serve a prison term of 5 years.  But, by the grace of God and by his restoration through the church, he only has to serve less than a year.  Anyways, please pray for him!  It's been really amazing to see the church rally behind him and to see how both the church and Matt have grown in prayer and in trust in the Lord.

I was super moved by Matt and his testimony of God's restoring love and my heart was broken over the lust and sexual temptation in this world that I decided to write a song.  I was taking a shower (The best times to write songs for me is during a shower), when I came up with this song called the Sex Monster.  It's a silly jazz tune with ridiculous lyrics, but I like it :0).  I'll post a finished product once I finish with these darn finals and have more time to record.

Anyways, what are your ideas on sexuality and Christianity?  Dating as Christians?  Ways to combat the Devil and his power in Lust?

Dan, Acts, Lewis, and Isaiah

DAN
I finally got the chance to watch Dan in Real Life and, more importantly, listen to the soundtrack of the movie! It was an awesome awesome movie, and I was surprised as to how much I liked both the plot and the songs. Sondre Lerche is pretty beastly; he wrote the entire movie soundtrack, and on the DVD, there was an extras interview with him where he talked about how he came up with the soundtrack. But yeah, the story is suuuper amazing; Steve Carell does an amazing job at portraying his character in such a real hahaha sense. I always think of him in his roles as Evan Baxter, Michael Scott, and the 40-year-old virgin, but he portrayed such a deep character and portrayed it well, and he's officially my new favorite actor heh. Anyways, watch it; you'll be surprised as to how much you'll empathize with Dan.

ACTS
On an unrelated but equally important note, last Monday, I had my chance to lead a bible study! The passage I led was on Acts 8:1-25 : Philip, one of the early Christians during the persecution of the Church by Saul, escapes Jerusalem and travels to Samaria. Samaria is known to not be friends with Jerusalem (The Good Samaritan, the Samaritan Woman at the Well), but Philip goes there anyways after Jesus commands the early church to go to Jerusalem, Samaria, and to the ends of the Earth (Acts 1). Anyways, he is able to preach the good news about Jesus and everyone in Samaria accepts Jesus as their Savior and they all get baptized!

Now, there was a sorcerer in Samaria named Simon who had been performing magical tricks and amazing everyone, making them believe that he has the power of God. But when Philip shows up, even Simon gets baptized and believes in God! Peter and John come from Jerusalem to bear witness to all that was happening in Samaria, and they lay their hands on the people there and everyone receives the Holy Spirit. Then! Simon tries to pay Peter and John so that they could give him the power to lay hands on people and give them they Holy Spirit...DUN DUN DUN

Although it's obvious that what Simon was doing was completely wrong, if we really think about it, I think we're a lot like him. Although he was part of this early Christian community after his baptism, it's clear that he still was thinking about himself, not about God. Which leads to the application question, what is your treasure? Is it truly desiring to serve God and his kingdom, no matter how difficult or how against your plans it may be? Or is your treasure to just be in community? Is serving God something you feel like you need to do because you're "Christian," or is it something that you earnestly desire from the depths of your heart?

I gave a short testimony during the study about how I was a lot like Simon with my passion for music, about how originally I wanted to serve God with the music that I wrote, but it ended up being me just wanted to try to achieve rockstardom, to try and become famous with my music. It was a harsh reality for me to accept and it was even harder to try and kill my dreams of rockstardom, but I realized that it was not pleasing to God at all. Are there any ways in which you have made a treasure out of something else besides serving God?

LEWIS

CS, that is, and I don't mean Computer Science neither.  This past weekend, I went to my bible study leader Tiffany Lin's senior flute recital, which was awesome.  Who'd have thunk that a flute could sound so cool :)  Anyways, in her program, she listed a quote by C.S. Lewis which I thought was an absolute beast and I really wanted to share it with you guys:

"The books or music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust in them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things--the beauty, the memory of our own past--are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited..." -C.S. Lewis

ISAIAH
*/Ok, side note, the only reason why this post is so long is because I have nothing to do at the music library. I have a 12:00 - 3:00 shift every Tues and I have nothing to do now heh. I honestly don't like writing at all, but when you're bored, you'll do anything! /*

Anyways, last thing! Last week, all the Christian communities got together to have a week of 24/7 prayer. During one of my late night prayer shifts, God really put the passage of Isaiah 55 on my heart. The phrase that really stood out to me was for my soul to delight in the richest of fare. Just hearing that makes my heart flutter haaha. It's my prayer that as I rely more on God now instead of my own strength, that God will teach me about the richest of fare :). One other thing I learned during my shift is that God speaks in the silence and solitude of our soul. It's super hard to be still and silent for myself, but I always find that God speaks the loudest when I'm lost in the quiet times. Having trouble hearing the voice of God? Spend 10-15 minutes just being still, not praying, not singing, not reading (although you should do these things sometime ofsho!), and he'll definitely speak to you!!!

Phew, two posts in one day, I'm all pooped out. There's still a lot more stuff that I want to share, but it'll have to wait for another time :).

I Will Go

Starfield's at it again with their latest album I Will Go.  Props to my mei mei for hooking it up along with Lifehouse and the new Passion CD.  If you guys want it, I could post it too...  Anyways, this album is pretty typical of Starfield; Neufeld's voice is still pretty dreamy heh.  The music is still not quite as punchy as I would like the band's sound to be.  All in all, it's still a good album following the tried and true formula that has made Starfield what it is today.  They cover Brooke Fraser's Hosanna on this track, but they don't seem to add anything super new to it besides having a male's voice.  Reign in Us is my current favorite track of the album; what's yours?

download it!

love it?

20/80

^ my score for one of my four midterms.  for my other three midterms, i got at the median or below.  basically, i'm a failure at school, if not at the greater struggle called life.  i feel you ajuh (insert weeping sounds here)

school has been a constant struggle for me, which has been extremely frustrating.  coming from whitney, i felt pretty "smart."  grades were never a problem, hw was easy, and learning was actually pretty fun.  now, i'm at the opposite end of the spectrum; i get murdered in my grades, hw takes at least 50 hours of work a week, and i don't learn anything anymore.  it's just really frustrating because i love what i'm trying to learn now, but i feel like such a failure because of my grades.  circuits are pretty fun to tinker with, using fourier and z transforms to convert signals into a summation of sinusoids is suuper elegant it tickles me, and coding in C allows me to mesh creativity with my academics.  semiconductor physics is blah haha.  but despite my joy in going to class and figuring out how these things work, the grades always come back to punch me in the face.

i feel like this is God's way of teaching me humility, of teaching me to trust in Him more.  in high school, i lived the way i wanted to live.  i did everything in my own power, from grades to friends to my girlfriend.  and now everything has been turned topsy turvy for a long time now.  it's just hard because even though i acknowledge that i need God's help to get through every season in my life now, i still have yet to really seem him move in my academics.  he's taught me so much about caring for the poor, about reconciliation within the community, about being still and pursuing him through individual prayer and worship, but i've been begging him to just be with me in my academics, and i can't seem to find him!  it's like where's waldo without a waldo on the page :/

getting back my grades was super hard for me; i know that we're supposed to be satisfied in God alone, but at the moment when i got all my grades back, i felt like crying and screaming; i felt the weakest i've ever felt.  and this is just one of the nine quarters i've been here; just multiply the agony by nine and there you go.

OK WOW.  God is too amazing.  JUST right now, my great aunt called me and told me that she thinks about me everyday and she prays for me and she told me not to be burdened by my academics but to trust and depend on God.  random?  about as random as the great sea parting.  woow, i can't even describe how i'm feeling right now.  hahaha what a miracle on the fly.  now i feel like laughing and crying and singing and dancing all at the same time.  i know that this doesn't mean i'm going to get a 4.0 now, but i don't care one bit.  God DOES exist in academics hahaha, he's bigger than Stanford ofsho.  i can't wait to see what he has in store for my silly excuse of "life."

i had a lot more i was going to talk about, but i'm going to spend some time with my lover now.  maybe tomorrow?

Meowmeowmeowmeow

Meow -> the sound i make when i copycat all my favorite blogs.

Think of this post as flattery haha.

Actually, a lot of random things happened to somehow managed to tie this post to sanscue and jonbaik :)

Midterms of Death

So, I'm procrastinating studying now by typing this post.  I have four midterms in the next three days, all of which will teach me to never procrastinate again.  First up, Semiconductor Physics, which I have learned absolutely nothing for because class meets at 9:00 am, what the fat!  Next, CS 107 which = super hard coding class.  Three hour time slot designated for this midterm, woo hoo!  Then tomorrow, my favorite Signal Processes and Linear Systems II class EE 102B, which is super math intensive.  I always thought I loved math, but if this class has taught me anything, it's either 1) I suck at math or 2) I need to try harder.  Finally, on Friday, it's Circuits II with good ole Differential MOSFETs, Current Mirrors, and the like.  Mm yummy.

Attack of the ISACSAC

hahahaha, I love my weirdness.  Basically, my super buddies Steve Ko and Natasha Kim bought me a SacSac because I mentioned that I love it randomly.  And so, because Andrew didn't put up a picture of SacSac, I decided to put one up with a little more flair than your typical cop this picture off of Google Images.  Try not to get too excited.

new music - Coldplay - A Spell A Rebel Yells

Ah yes, good old Coldplay.  A new album, a new host of things to rant about.  In my opinion, Coldplay's been having a harder time establishing their presence as a band pushing the envelope of good music, especially with their latest releases of albums (X&Y and now Viva la Vida or Death And All His Friends).  Violet Hills was supposed to have a new feel for Coldplay's music style, but I felt like it wasn't that big of a departure of what Coldplay has made it's millions off of; the chord progressions felt the same, the same melody rifts, the same beated piano chords, a little falsetto, cut out at the end, solo piano, etc.  And I think the same can be said for A Spell A Rebel Yells, with it's U2 like feel.  Maybe I haven't really appreciated it, but it just sounds super repetitive to me, lacking any big variety.  I mean, it is a B-side, so I guess you can just say it's meant to be like it is, but I don't buy it.  Also, in regards to the name of the album, Chris Martin says it's influenced by Frida Kahlo's life of misery and her great work of art, but that's a bit random for me; I hope the album will paint a better picture of how this is a reality for Coldplay as a band instead of the title just being a cool, indie title that will hopefully make people buy it because it's supposed to be deep and mysterious and unknown, etc.  Anyways, share your thoughts on the song!  I hope you guys might disagree with me, because I'm hoping to be proven wrong about this song / album :)

listen to it

Anyways, back to studying!

Rejection

I wanted to share my thoughts on rejection, especially since it's been something that's been recurring in almost all areas of my recent life. One instance of rejection that has really been..painful..has to do with a girl named Pearls. Last week, I asked her out to a...JK! Haha, I'm too much of a busy chicken to have anything that dramatic ;).

But seriously, this year has been a year full of rejections. My application to work at Microsoft, my recording submission for the Stanford soundtrack, my scholarship application for CESASC, my summer research position interviews (although I later actually got it), my jazz piano lessons; these are just a few of my failed endeavors from this year.

One more recent rejection has to do with InterVarsity, my fellowship here at Stanford. The structure of IV at Stanford involves having bible studies around geographic locations all over campus, each headed by a bible study leader and a ministry team. This year, I was fortunate enough to be a part of the West Campus ministry team. I had not planned on being on a ministry team because being on one would mean I would have to live with them, which isn't a bad thing, but I just didn't feel called to do that. However, I really wanted to be a part of one, and God totally answered my prayers; during the summer, I was asked if I wanted to join a Ministry team regardless of where I lived. I remember that moment so well; it was amazing to see how God really moved in power. In contrast to last year, this year, I applied to be part of a ministry team, committed to even living with IV. However, I was rejected from being part of the ministry team. Last night, I had a conversation with my good friend and future bible study leader Thomas. During out conversation, we talked about why being on the ministry team wouldn't be life giving to me, especially since I'm so busy with schoolwork and whatnot. Although I have to agree with him about the busyness, it was still surprisingly painful to hear him say this to me. I felt like I had poured out my entire self into InterVarsity, giving up my fraternity time, my music, and even my schoolwork to serve, and to be barred from the ministry team felt like I was being labeled as useless and unworthy, or so the Enemy was telling me.

So, as you can tell, I've been thinking a lot about rejection heh. I realize a lot of the pain associated with rejection is just the effect of my own prideful idealization of how life should be run. It's crucial to rely on God's perfect will for our lives, but does that mean that you shouldn't plan for your life? What about having free will and the power to choose versus the will of God? I mean, I understand that God is the provider of everything I need (...And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and heart may fail, but God is my strength and my portion forever - Psalms 73:25-26), but what about my desires? (Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart - Psalms 37:4)

At any rate, one explanation I came up with for why I feel so terrible now is the fact that I'm created in the likeness and image of God (Genesis 1:26-27), meaning the pain that I feel now is the same pain that He feels whenever I reject him. And when do I reject God? Whenever I sin, which is pretty much daily. I can't even imagine the pain that God must go through each day because of me, but yet his love is perfect and unconditional, and he loves me even in my brokenness and rejection of him. I've just realized how silly I am; everything that I've been rejected from is something that is man-made, some value that is conjured up out of thin air. Rejection here on this earth is to not be valued by man, but as long as my God loves me, why should I look elsewhere? Haha, I change like the wind.

Anyways, I'll end on a more positive note heh.  For my first assignment for my cs107 class, I had to create this program called RSG, short for Random Sentence Generator.  One of the topics of random generation was rejection letters heh.  Here's one sample that I randomly generated; I hope you enjoy:

Applicant  :  We would like to start off by saying that this year's applicants made selection a very difficult process.  Among those that applied this year were 38 child prodigies  , 275 team captains  , and an unprecedented 356 valedictorians  .   Unfortunately,  you were not one of them.  We're turning down your application.  We feel our students are what make are school so strong. However, we sincerely felt that that you could not in any way contribute to this.    We wish you luck in your future academic endeavors. - The Admissions Office  

Our Delight

AISH there's no time to post, but i have big developments a-coming soon! everything from music to sex (yes, i said it and no, i haven't abandoned gone and turned into a lewd maniac).

For the time being, i'm pulling a jon and posting music! this album is pretty amazing musically, especially since it features 8 different japanese jazz jartists (sorry, couldn't help the alliteration), from three different ensembles, the Ichiro Masuda Quartet, Yositaka Akitmitsu Trio, and Kotaro Tsukahara Trio. the album was recorded in 1989, and not unlike good wine, it's gotten better over the years. anyways, grab a chair on a cool, spring night, let the stars smile down upon you, and while you sip your wine (jk..or boba), have a little listen to the beauty that is Our Delight.

download it!

love it?

Justice League of..."Love"?!

Since it's the beginning of the quarter, I've had much time to reflect on life, rest, and most importantly, watch multiple episodes of Justice League, the Cartoon Network show that aired a few years ago.  Jk about the most importantly, but seriously though, I've been watching way too much JL.

Anyways, I just wanted to share my thoughts on this show before I forget what I've learned already (I've picked up this bad habit of forgetting everything I learn in a quarter's time):

Justice League (and later Justice League Unlimited, the not-so-good extension of the original series) features multiple superheroes banding together to stop forces of evil all over the world, although most of the evil seems to root itself in either Gotham or Metropolis in this series.  One of the main problems of this scenario is the fact that there are a lot of superheroes.  I mean, sure, you want to try to emphasize the importance of teamwork, and interesting scenarios can be developed with many superheroes, but I just don't buy it.  Maybe after you read a brief synopsis of the characters, you'll agree with me:

SUPERMAN

Comes fully packaged with all his original powers: super speed, super strength, super flying powers, super eye lasers, and super see through vision.  The only weakness he has (besides women heh) is Kryptonite, which seems to be present in every weapon on the show (there's an episode with a nuclear missile which is coated in Kryptonite...yeaaah)

BATMAN

On screen, he still almost identical to his dark knight portrait in the earlier cartoon series.  In this series, he's more known for his intellect and prowess as a detective, less for his strength as a hero.

MARTIAN MAN EATER

Ok, this bad boy is truly a beast.  Super strength, the ability to read people's minds, the ability to walk through walls / people (instant KO), AND the ability to become whatever/whomever he wants, with the added bonus of also having their super power.  Wow, forget the Justice League, Martian Man Eater is where it's at!  Unfortunately for him, since he's so powerful, the series tries extra hard to downplay him as a true beast, thus resulting in him usually getting his butt kicked.

WONDER WOMAN

Hailed as a demi-goddess from the land of Hera, she can fly, kick some serious butt, reflecting projectiles off of her bracelets, and has a whip that magically extends to however long she wants.

FLASH

IMO, the worst of them all.  He's the fastest superhero, but that's about it.  He can win olympic medals all day, but when it comes to being a superhero, I'm super sorry for him.

HAWK GIRL

This character reminds me of Harvey Birdman, the ridiculous lawyer superhero from the Space Ghost series.  She has a permanent pair of hawk wings on her back, allowing her to fly (duh).  Also, she has this electric mace which she uses to destroy anything / everything in her path.

GREEN LANTERN

One of my favorites, he's an ex-marine who has a magical green ring, which allows him to create anything he wants.  For instance, the green ring is usually used as a shield, but it can also allow him to lift ridiculously heavy objects as well as become a weapon.  Oh, and he can fly.

As you can see, it seems like the League is unbeatable, at least with their stats objectively laid out.  That's where this series hurts itself; it makes the superheroes weaker than they actually are in order to give the enemies a better chance / make the plot more interesting.  I usually see Superman getting whacked more than I see him doing the whacking.  Plus, in light of other superhero series that features only one superhero, this series seriously suffers (a little alliteration, anyone?).  For instance, the original Batman cartoon series.  Batman was a true beast in those episodes!  He always managed to trick all the bad guys, rescue the damsal / high tech piece of equipment that was stolen, while still managing his billion dollar business as Bruce Wayne.  But now?  He's reduced to one of seven superheroes who still can't beat one bad guy :/.

One more interesting thing about JL before I watch another episode haha, is the fact that this series really pushes the envelope for a cartoon series in terms of romance.  Yes, you read right, ROMANCE!  There's a TON of drama that goes down in these series between the superheroes.  I mean, I think I've seen at least 5 pseudo-relationships and 2 actual relationships bud between the characters in only 6 - 7 episodes!  Most of it is pretty illegit IMO; there's an episode where Batman has to prove his *LOVE* for someone.  You can view it here.  While you're watching it, try to hold your jaws together; mine almost fell off at least 5 times.  Although I bag on JL for their emphasis on romance, there is one relationship that really surprised me to the point where I thought it was pretty well executed, although still illegit hahahaha.  If you really want to find out and you have 10 - 12 hours to kill hahahaha, go to veoh.com and search for justice league.  There are a few episodes there to watch; I suggest watching all of them before you watch Starcrossed, the episode that reveals the relationship drama which I was referring to.  It's also one of the best episodes, if not THE best.

Aish, curse you procrastination!

Yuja Wang

wow.

i just got back from the sf symphony hall after watching yuja wang beast up a concert.  here's a quick clip of her tearing up the keys.

here's a record of the adventure that amos and i have gone through these past two nights:

3/30/2008

Amos surprised me with tickets to the SF symphony for 3/30, featuring the one and only Yuja Wang and Sir Neville blahblah, who founded the Academy of St. Martin in the Fields, which was the group that recorded the soundtrack for the famous movie Amadeus.

Anyways, Mikey, Jeanette, Amos, and I left Stanford around 5ish to make the 8:00 concert. However, the concert actually started at 7:00, so by the time we had got to the symphony hall, Yuja's performance was almost over!

Frustrated, Amos and I were trying to think of a plan to meet her. Amos somehow knew of the musician's entrance to the hall, so we went there to beg the security guards to let us in.

We ended up staying there for the entire second half + 4 encores :/ until we FINALLY saw Yuja walking towards the exit. As she left, we went up to her and explained

that we were wondering if we could get an autograph / photo with her, to which she kindly obliged to and gave us both. During our conversation with her, we asked if she could

play the the Volodos piece (the youtube video) as an encore for tomorrow night's performance. She said that she had already played the Volodos piece last year at SF and implied that she didn't want to play it, but she said she would play it. We had to come back the following night and find out if she was true to her word!

3/31/2008

Amos convinces me to go with him again to the SF Symphony hall to watch Yuja play. Too bad for us that she's playing Mozart compared to Mendelssohn :/, but it was Yuja, so we weren't complaining. Amos purposely

bought us tickets in the third row from the front so we could get a lot of applause going for an encore at the end. When Yuja finally finished playing the concerto, we were too shy to stand up at first. But, lucky for us, some

guy in the first row stood up, so we just had to stand up and keep the applause going. Sure enough, Yuja came back out for the encore and decided to play...the VOLODOS! It was absolutely beautiful, and even though she messed

up towards the end, we were just speechless at how beastly she played it. We tried to meet her again at the intermission, so we tried sneaking in the back door, but it was locked and we had no luck trying to force it open. When

we went back to the musician's entrance, the security guards there told us Yuja had already left. NOOOO! It was tragic, but we were super happy that she played the Volodos. I still maintain that Yuja played the Volodos for Amos

especially since:

1. She had already played the Volodos last year

2. The Volodos is freaaaking hard to play, so she would have had to practice it, etc.

3. She didn't really want to play an encore (She said so the night before)

4. She didn't have any encore pieces ready (She played a second encore after the Volodos, but it wasn't an encore piece)

Basically, she played the piece per Amos' request, and that's a true beast!

ps

Happy April Fool's Day! (no plans for this fool though :/ )

Should I write about this past Spring Break awesomeness?

RISK! + isaac vs. the branch

This week was challenging ofsho.  Aside from schoolwork, I really feel challenged by God to change the way I live.  Let's start on Thursday with: 

PREFACE : Sowiee

Ok, I apologize for this being extremely long, but I've realized that this is more for me to remember where I've been rather than to make this entertaining yet brief, so sorry again, but much love!

CHAPTER ONE : Moozyq?

I met with my small group leaders after a busy, busy day of interviews / classes / and problem sets.  They were worried that I was just too busy with life and not living healthily.  To me, I wasn't phased at all; I've heard this talk before, I know all the dance steps.  BUT!  They pulled a tricky on me: they asked me how my music was and how much time I was spending on that.  WOAH!  I didn't realize it until they said it, but in my busyness, I had actually forgotten about music!

CHAPTER ZERO : BLAST FROM THE PAST!

Winter Retreat 07:

Shawn Bolz, the speaker of FECC's 07 winter retreat, was invited to talk about how to live for God 24/7.  He, instead, focused on how to use your talents for God, specifically artistic talents.  During the course of the retreat, many people prayed over me where they all saw a future me serving God's kingdom through my love for music.

CHAPTER ONE.FIVE : Addendum

You'd think that I should pursue something musically related, no?  Oh, how much of an idiot I am.  Anyways, my small group leaders suggested that I cut out something from my life, giving the analogy of Jesus pruning certain branches so that fruit may grow more abundantly on others.  For me, this meant that by creating space and time for Music, that God would work in that area of my life, presumably (hopefully! faithfully!!!).  Wow, that's a tough word to say to a EE working in the lab until 3:00 AM on this lovely Friday night.  In the end, my small group leaders (aish, it's annoying to type small group leaders - their names are Mike and Tiff) challenged me to take a risk by allowing God to prune off certain branches in my life.  Ouchie!

CHAPTER TWO : To love or not to love

THEN!!  That same night, during the Intervarsity Large Group, AVR (Alex Van Riesen - the speaker for our IVCF) gave a talk on the whole point of man and woman.  It was really good to hear about how God had created man and woman not as sexual beings, but as people who should be azers(helpers) to one another in pursuing Christ.  For the sake of brevity, this is all I'm going to say for now... ;)  Anyways, this was relevant to me because up to this point, I've been trying to stay away from all girls period.  I mean, I DID found the Guard Your Heart Club, right?  Anyways, my roommates recently asked me a series of questions wondering why I don't pursue a girlfriend now when (I do not agree with this at all) there are so many who are "throwing themselves at you, big ole isyi."  *Drum roll* The principle reason that I gave was that I wanted to fill my heart with the love of Christ, that I would someday love my lover patiently, kindly, without envy, and without pride.  I wanted to love unconditionally, with a love ending.  Wow, what a sunday school answer ahahhaa, but it's true!

During AVR's talk, however, I thought about this more and realized that one of the main reasons why I didn't want to have a "gf" was because I was scared out of my mind.  Could I really love someone forever?  Could they love me?  If I dated someone, would I have to marry them in order to avoid hearts breaking?  When is the right time?  All these questions plagued my mind during the talk, and I felt God just challenging me to take a risk (No, I'm not going to get a significant other sometime in the near future [hopefully] ).  But, I ignored this strange feeling, trying to stick to my truthful-yet-not-really sunday school answer.  Silly me.

CHAPTER THREE : The Branch (DUN DUN DUN)

This is where it gets good.  SOO, after IV, a bunch of us wanted to play Capture the Flag in the Main Quad.  After the opposing team scored an easy first flag, I volunteered to guard the flag.  I was kind of sad, though, cuz I wanted to run around and try to get theirs, so during the last 5 minutes, I switched spots with someone and just went for it.  I decided to be sneaky by running into a dimly lit wooded area.  Yianni, a super fast runner who coincidentally is Greek, started chasing me like a cat on its mouse.  I ran as fast as I could, zig zagging *dino* through trees, sidestepping him, when I ran right into a tree branch!  It hurt like a mother beating a father.  Anyways, after a few moments of just being dazed, I realized that something wet was dripping down my face.  Yep, I had cracked my head open.  You know those movies where the main character gets fatally wounded and he/she's just bleeding all over?  I felt and looked like that, and in that moment, I started thinking ridiculous thoughts like, ooh, what should I say as my last words on this earth?  pfftt, fat chance of me dying.  The next three hours was a whirlwind of Kaiser, Blood, Anesthetics, Blood, Four staples to head, more blood, sleeeep.  It was a bit ridiculous, but, Praise God, I was alive!

CHAPTER FOUR : ________?

So, here I am, just pondering about all these risks that I feel I have to confront rather soon.  I mean, God practically threw a branch into my head, and if only it were pruned, I wouldn't have my Metalhead nickname now.  Either way, I'm grateful to God for providing only Good things at the exact moment when I need them.  Hopefully I won't be dumb enough to ignore God this time :).

Whew

Jeremiah 29:11

Jesus Loves Me

Dead Man Living

Praise God! I've survived what was possibly the hardest week of my winter quarter, maybe even of my entire time at Stanford. Break it down:

- 2 labs (one of which took 20+ hours, which I ended up not completing :/)
- 4 problem sets (one for each techie class)
- 1 paper (this was paper #2/4 for a 1 unit class :/x 999)
- 3 midterms (two were worth %20 of my entire grade, the other %30)

Soo, basically, life was a living h-e-double hockey sticks (minus the eternal darkness, void of God's love). I'm pretty sure I bombed all my tests and messed up on all my problem sets. On the plus side, the fact that I'm alive is a huuge testament to the power of God hahahaha.

At any rate, academics are cool, I guess, but the reason for the title of the post is two-fold. Prior to this past week, I had been challenged to think about life, love, and God, three of my favorite things but three of the hardest things to talk about in relation to my life. It was a Friday night and I was having dinner with the worship leader for IV. She was challenging me to think about myself (something I have trouble with) and see the areas that I did not want to look at. The more I thought about...It was at that moment that I realized I didn't believe that God loved me. My heart broke and I was about to cry, me, a grown up 20 year old, sitting at a public restaurant. I realized that I couldn't bring myself to trust God with my whole heart; sure my future is secure in him, but why do I feel like such a failure in school regardless of how hard I study? Sure, all things are possible through God, but why did he give me such a passion for music and so many signs showing me music in my future when I feel like I have no chance as a musician? Sure, the spirit of God is an endless spring of peace and joy, but why do I feel thirsty all the time? I was shocked at these revelations; they all pointed out something that I had hidden inside of me, but was totally unaware of: I didn't believe Jesus loved me.

This harsh truth burned inside of me for a few days, totally consuming my every thought. How did I get to this point? Why do I feel this way when I know the truth? That night, I sat in the darkness, trying to trace the origin of this lie of the enemy, when I realized that this mistrust had stemmed from relationship with another lover. I had lost all faith and trust in the beauty that is Love as a result of a hard relationship, and I was still being haunted by the lies that had surrounded me back when I had abandoned God. I literally felt like my spirit had died within me, and that I had nothing left to live for. But, God is good, all the time, ofsho! The next morning, I woke up with Psalms on my heart. I hopped from my bunk down to my desk, and without contacts/glasses, squinted my way through Psalms 31. And it was such a beautiful miracle. Some verses that spoke out to me:

Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth. Psalm 31: 5

I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul. Psalm 31:7

For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.

But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God." Psalm 31:13-14

Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love. Psalm 31:16

Mm, the Word is so good. Then, on Sunday, as the children sang "Jesus Loves Me" during the service, I was reminded again of how good and how powerful God is.

Jesus loves me, this I know,

For the Bible tells me so,

Little ones to him belong,

They are weak, but he is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me!

The Bible tells me so :)

I am little and I am weak, but my God, he is strong and best of all, he loves me.

King and Tully vs Porkchop

Today's post's title refers to the two methods of ground transportation that I've used from Norcal to Socal (and vice versa). King and Tully are the cross streets for the popular Viet Socal Experience bus, which was absolutely wonderful. Their cramped seats coupled with the notorious overbooking issues that the management has been having adds to the pleasant overall ambience of the bus. Other perks include a $3 lunch from the Indie Chinese cook next door, a mobile potty in the back, and TWO movies, both dubbed in Vietnamese! All this for the grand total of $40 one way.


Aish. Anyways, I'm sitting here at the Music Library on my shift, earning money for doing nothing/homework, and I decided to post something interesting. I was looking around in the My Documents folder on the ML's computer when I discovered an old MC blog post that I typed also at the Music Library. I just wanted to post something of remote interest and since I'd rather not delve into the details of how I am constantly working 24/8 all day everyday nonstop getting owned by Stanford University aka Voluntary Prison, I'll let you read something comical that reflects the pure innocence of my lost days as a youth :)

WHY I NEVER WANT TO RIDE ANOTHER PUBLIC BUS EVER AGAIN

11.18.2006

Sexy Greyhound

This is the story of my bus trip down to Socal:

Mikey, Amos, and I were supposed to leave Stanford via a cheap and fast Vietnamese Bus that Connie suggested. The bus left San Jose around 8:30 AM, so I told everyone the night before to finish packing, sleep, and then wake up around 7 so we could leave Stanford by 7:45 latest. Both Amos and I were ready to go by 7:30, but Mikey didn’t even wake up until 7:50. In addition, he didn’t even pack yet, so we ended up leaving around 8:05 AM. We also got lost (duh, I’m in the car hehe) trying to get there so we ended up getting to the stop around 8:50 AM. I was soooo pissed at being late that I started punching cement walls hehe. Mikey then suggested that we take the Greyhound bus, even though it would be more expensive and we’d end up in Socal much later than expected. By this point, I didn’t care anymore, so I just went with his plan. We arrived at the Greyhound super early, so we decided to chill at the Starbucks across the street (They had free Wifi Internet). 30 minutes before the bus was supposed to leave, we started waiting in line, but by that time, there was a massive line already waiting to board the bus. Since there were three of us, and only two seaters on the bus, we decided to sit in the very back of the bus, because there were 3 seats together. By the time we got there though, someone had taken one of the seats. Since we were almost the last ones on the bus, all the front seats were taken, so I sat next to the person already sitting on the bus while Mikey sat next to the toilet and Amos sat in the row ahead of us. The person I sat next to was this chubby black girl who reeked of something deathly and dressed very scantily. 10 minutes into the trip, she turns to me and asks, “Are you Asian?” I said of course, which set up her next line: “I’ve never kissed an Asian before. Do you want to kiss me?” She puckered her lips and started moving in for the kill. I was madly shaking my head and trying to get as far away from her as possible. Then she just started giving me these seducing stares, so I tried to break the tension by introducing myself and asking her for her name. She replied that her name was Porkchop and she showed me a tattoo of her name on her neck. I asked her why her name was Porkchop, and she replied (and I quote): “Oh, because my Pimp Ho’s name is Chop chop, so all of his Ho’s names have chop in them.” I suddenly realized that I was sitting next to a prostitute. Up to this point, I had never even seen a prostitute, let alone talk to one. I busted out my DS Lite and tried to ignore her, but she tried to grab my DS after I took it out! She thought it was an iPod and wanted to listen to it, but I had to explain to her that it was a NDSL and you can’t listen to music with it (although I hacked it so you can hehe). She then started poking the moles on my arm and saying, “I have moles too, you want to see them?” Although I was shaking my head, she started showing me these moles and semi-undressing herself. After awhile, she really started to undress herself. She pulled her shirt really really high up and unbuckled her belt, draping the belt across my legs. The she started to caress my hair, softly purring, “Everything is just fine.” Her pimp ho was sitting next to Amos, so he had a really hard time too hehe. On top of that, we had a homeless bum sit in front of us, and he would not stop talking about all this random nonsense

11/26

The Crazy Asian Bus

This is the story of my bus trip back up to Stanford University:

I get the San Gabriel on Sunday morning at around 9:30 AM, all ready to get on the Vietnamese bus early and find good seats. The bus comes around 10:00 AM and I’m like the sixth person to get on the bus. Amos, Mike fan, Connie, and myself all find good seats (2 on the left, 2 on the right of the same row on the bus) and we just chill. About 10 minutes into boarding, this crazy asian lady comes yelling at Mike Fan, who I’m sitting next to, saying that he stole her seat blah blah blah. Apparently, she made a reservation over the phone and reserved Mikey’s seat. Problem was, the bus was originally seated by a first come, first serve basis, AND we called 4 times earlier and never received a reservation. The first asian lady, defeated, sat down in the row behind us and didn’t yell at us anymore after we argued for about 5 minutes. Problem was, she took ANOTHER asian lady’s reserved seat, so that asian lady started yelling at Mikey too. She was a BEAST; her voice was soo frkn loud and she had a very nasally voice. She started yelling at Mikey, at me, at Amos and Connie, and then at the Bus manager. Then our parents came onto the bus and started arguing and yelling at the Bus manager and at that lady. The arguing went on for more than one and a half hours. The bus manager was a frkn sneaky C; he tried to make Mikey and I sit on the floor and in return we didn’t have to pay any fare. Problem was, that was illegal, so the bus driver would kick us out if we did, and then we’d be stuck. Mikey knew this, so he didn’t take the bait, and then the manager started trying different tactics. Pretty soon, the second crazy asian lady started rallying the entire bus against us, because they were pissed and just wanted to leave. Everybody started yelling at us and chanting stupid things like, GET OFF THE BUS, or PLEASE LEAVE NOW. It was absolutely ridiculous. Finally, we bargained that we would fit one more person to sit next to Amos and Connie in return for a discounted bus fare. Connie ended up taking my seat and Amos, Mikey, and I just shared 2 seats together. The bus ride ended up taking more than 12 hours and by that time, my butt was super sore. Getting off the bus was ridiculous too. This crazy asian old guy started pushing Amos and trying to get out of the bus. Finally, after the guy started FONDLING Amos’ butt, Amos was like, Bie ji (Don’t push), only to set the guy off like a bomb. He just exploded at Amos and looked pretty frkn scary. Man, I’m never taking another public bus again.

Morta, Morta, Morta

^My status as of the second week of winter quarter.  Here's my schedule so far:

I haven't had this much class/lab/section since...never.  5 classes for a grand total of 17 units.  That's Electrical Engineering at it's finest, folks.  

At any rate, I've been able to get a little recording / musical nonsense down in the first week before the madness really begins.  I recorded Desdemona on the first night that I got back, spending about 5 hours in the studio.  I would have spent more time if only my thumb didn't start profusely bleeding :/  Rockstar status, eh? heh..  Anyways, here's the live version of the song on youtube:

I wrote this song during my fall quarter of Freshman year.  I was taking an IHUM (Intro to the HUManities) class looking at music + operas.  I was studying the different character dynamics in the play Othello, written by Shakespeare.  For those of you that have never read / heard of Othello, the story goes something like this:  

It is the 17th century in Europe.  Othello, the captain of the Venetian army and surprisingly a Moor (think racial tension between black vs white), is married to the beautiful (and coincidentally white) Desdemona.  Iago, a soldier in Othello's army and the antagonist of the story, hates Othello with a passion, especially since he[Iago] is madly in love with Desdemona.  Iago hatches a plan to ruin both Othello and Desdemona by pitting Othello against his own emotions of jealousy / hatred.  Iago gets his chance by using Cassio, a good friend of Othello's and fellow soldier.  Iago gets Cassio drunk and violent, eventually causing him to get into a fight.  Othello, finding Cassio in a wrecked state, strips Cassio of his high position in the army.  Iago then tells Cassio to try to gain Othello's favor by becoming good friends with Desdemona.  Iago then goes around and tells Othello that Cassio and Desdemona are having an affair.  Throw in a sneaky wife, an innocent mistress, and a love handkerchief, and Othello eventually kills Desdemona out of his rage.  However, right after he kills her, he realizes his mistake; he has just killed the love of his life.  Eventually, everyone dies, like a good Shakespearean tragedy.

In addition to reading Shakespeare's play, I also watched Verdi's opera Otello, which is based on Othello.  The song that Othello sang to Desdemona in the moments right after he murdered her were so moving, that I was literally crying as I watched this 50+ year old sing in Italian (mind you, I know close to no Italian).  These words were burned in my mind as I watched, and I also incorporate them in my song:

Desdemona, Desdemona,

Ay, Morta, Morta, Morta

And there's the origins of my song Desdemona.  Oh, I just found out that Desdemona is Greek for unfortunate.  How fortunate!

The Night Before I Leave for Stanford...

...and I haven't even packed yet :).  It's raining outside.  I leave in 8 hours.  Next quarter is going to be killer.  It's raining outside.  And yet, God is good.  Things that have made me smile in the past 30 minutes:

- Mei Mei's note reminding me that us sibs have a breakfast tmo morning.

- Sarah Park and her absolute RIDICULOUSNESS

   Sarah, in her infinite wisdom, has bestowed upon me a M U S I C

   journal as a gift.  And what a gift it is indeed.  It is the perfect thing

   that I need right now, especially now in my life, and Sarah, oh

   Sarah, is an ABSOLUTE beast.  Please, good gentlemen, buy a dozen 

   roses, practice those cheesy pick-up lines, and start the pining away.

- My talk with Will Chen as we chatted at / rode back from City Lights.  Who

   knew that guy had something serious to say beneath his silly features ;).

- A reminder to ALWAYS trust in God, especially for the scariness known as the future.

It's raining outside, I leave in 7 hours, 51 min, I haven't packed, and it's raining outside.  But oh, how I love life.  AND!  I just remembered: I love the rain!

Proverbs 3:5-6

The (Not So) Secret Blog Society

I've finally joined the society, along with jonbaik and sanscue.  Oh, but you might say, "Isaac, aren't you a terrible, no-good, very bad, sub-par writer whose insecurity about wielding the pen (in this case the mpb keyboard) is almost as big as your ego-inflated head?"  To that question belongs a resounding YES!  <- (In case you didn't notice, that was your one and only warning about the terrible content on this blog)  To compensate for the lack of good quality writing, I was thinking about posting some pictures as well.  Since every picture is worth 1000 words, I was able to come up with this brilliant formula:

Blogger's Theorem

 - (words) + 1000 x (pictures) / [words + 1000 x (pictures)] = % of how good the blog is.  

80% or less = not worth it

But then I realized that I am as bad a photographer as I am a writer.  So, add a negative sign to the first (pictures) and there you go.  Since the forecast of this blog looks to be rainy with a high change of hail, you might ask, "Well, give me one good reason why I should continue wasting away my life reading about yours?"  To that question, I will give you 5 not-so-helpful reasons:

1 - You're probably procrastinating right now, so why not?

2 - If you (ever start || have) a blog, you'll need an example of what NOT to do

3 - I might definitely try as hard as I can to someday, hopefully post music that may or may not be original to some degree

4 - "If you were my TRUE friend, you'd [read] it" - Luke Chau, Will Chen

5 - Swoosh

On a lighter topic, since all the cool kids are giving their life philosophies about why they chose their username (and by all the cool kids, I mean Andrew), I'll give you mine.  When I was about 12 years old, my dad wanted to create an email account for me using Yahoo! Mail.  He thought he'd be clever by choosing the first two letters of my first two names (my first and middle name).  My middle name is "Yi" (meaning 1 in Chinese).  My dad's middle name should be "Superconfusingthingsupsoheadwillhurt".  Unfortunately, it is not.  THEREFORE, (Is)aac + (Yi) + Wang = isyiwang.  Call me strange, but I've actually taken a liking to the ridiculousness that is isyiwang.  Silly dad.

At any rate <- (One of my favorite sayings), here's to me trying to keep this thing alive.  Hopefully, it'll last longer than ck's beta fish did when I tried to babysit it :/.